I stumbled across a beautiful post on Creature Comforts today about the importance of "honesty and transparency around blogland," about writing from an authentic voice, about admitting to your own imperfections. Sometimes bloggers can come across as being too perfect, as having their act 110% together. So, to dispel any ideas my readers might have about my wonderful care-free life as a locavore artist, here's my list of "Things I'm Afraid to Tell You..."
About Locavore Living:
1. Eating local is hard. Sometimes I'd rather lounge about in PJ's watching old Fraggle Rock episodes on Saturday morning instead of going to the Farmer's Market. Sometimes I want to spend my entire weekly grocery budget on totally non-local foods like avocados and pineapples and coffee and exotic spices. Sometimes I don't want to spend two hours cooking dinner from scratch (and then another hour cleaning up all the extra pots and pans in my kitchen with no dishwasher). Sometimes I just want to throw in the tea-towel and order takeout.
2. I'm super shy, to the point where when I see something I don't recognize at the Farmer's Market I'll pass it by because I'm too nervous to ask the super-friendly vendors about it. (Crazy, right?) Then I'll go home and Google something like "round purple root vegetable" so I can figure out what I was looking at, and then hope that they have it at the market again the next week so I can buy it.
3. Sometimes I find myself being a Judgie McJudgerson when I see how other people eat...especially family and close friends. I HATE being judgmental. It's not like I'm some perfect locavore, and even if I was it wouldn't give me the right to feel superior to anyone else.
About Art Creating:
1. I have to admit there are plenty of parts of the art-creation process which I don't like at all - measuring things, signing things, photographing things for the internet. It's not that I don't think these things are important...they totally are. I'm just not especially good at them, and I HATE doing things I'm not good at (especially when I try really hard and I still make mistakes). Playing with fun supplies and pretty colors is the best...I wish I could put someone else in charge of the other stuff.
2. I'm never completely happy with my finished work...there's ALWAYS something that I could have done a little bit better. I'm totally my own worst critic. Until recently, I didn't even like my art enough to try to become a professional artist, even though it's my passion. Luckily my husband is my biggest fan and he's managed to convince me that I'm actually talented (thank you Ed)!
3. I know I'm just starting out on my journey to become a professional artist, and that I should be enjoying the process, but sometimes I get super impatient...I want a completed portfolio, a solo show in a local gallery, my own art studio, and a huge group of adoring fans/patrons and I want them now! (Sometimes I worry that I'll never have any of these things and that I'm just wasting my time).
There are plenty of other things I'm afraid to tell you about being a blogger, a wife, a mom, a musician, a person living in this giant complicated world that can make me feel so teeny-tiny sometimes. Thank you for letting me share these secrets with you...